temporary rejection

i have to find a way out of my current funk. Unemployment is not sexy but people who urge me to “take advantage of the time” are surfing in shark infested water looking decidedly like baby seals. It isn’t because they aren’t right. It is true that i have waaaaayyyy more time than i will probably ever have until i retire (or marry rich!) but it is equally true that it feels less free. living with family isn’t totally free unless i sit at home and do absolutely nothing but hunch over my computer searching for jobs.

Some would argue that is all i should do…and i did do only that, for a while. After taking a breather from my travel i threw myself into the job search with dedicated purpose and the thought that there was no need to really unpack as i’d only be passing through.

Three months later and my suitcase is constantly vomiting up articles of clothing that i don’t need while simultaneously swallowing those that i do. At some point i’m going to have to let go of the illusion of temporary.

The jobs advertised look less and less appetizing but i feel more and more compelled to apply for them. Only, my fingers are frozen over the keyboard as i consider working at something horrific for the next two years simply because i had too little patience and even less faith. Of course faith can be misplaced or even misunderstood. Maybe i’m sitting here having faith that i’m destined for a job that is both fulfilling to me and beneficial for the world around me but the real faith in question is an economy that, while on the mend, is not quite mended yet. Faith in one doesn’t negate the other.

So i find myself trying to figure out how long-term my plans should be. Is this an overnight bag kind of flux i’m in or am i looking at a rental agreement with the folks?

February around the corner, and faith heavily shaken, i’ve already progressed to my back-up plan. Temping. Only i got rejected from a temp agency just last week. Everyone asks the same thing, “what did they say?” followed by variations of, “wow! I’ve never heard of that before” which is followed by a repeat of “what did they say?”. Sigh.

What they said was:

            Thank you for submitting your resume to Xxxxx. Xxxxx provides opportunities in the clerical and administrative fields and after much consideration by our Staffing Managers; we are not your best resource.

And while it was followed up with a link to an agency they thought more suitable (it isn’t, since I’m public health and not a clinician) it still results in two things…my back-up financial plan for tiding me over is blown to bits and more devastating to my self-esteem…i got rejected by a temp agency.

Trying to hold the meltdown at bay, i know i have to come up with a new plan. I’ve never had to consider a back-up to my back-up but there is a first in everything.

So now is the time i figure out faith. Now is the time i decide if my current discomfort is meant to get me moving right now or to mold me into a new shape in preparation for whatever comes next. I applied for an amazing gig a few weeks ago. I’m pretty sure they are either in the midst of interviewing or have already hired and i’ve heard nothing which means i need to keep looking, hoping that something wonderful catches my attention.

The question i must ask and answer for myself is if i should wait out another such opening-one that gets my fingers flying in a flurry of anticipation and excitement for a potential gig. The other option, adult as it may be, is less gratifying but quite possibly necessary. In a time of rampant unemployment i may just need to suck it up and take what i can get…provided the temp agency isn’t an indication that i can’t get anything.

February is about to unfold. I dip my toe in wondering what it will offer.

Tags: future, houston, transition, work