It won’t go away, this concept of roe v. wade for men as it is “affectionately” referred. It is the idea that as long as women have the right to choose to have a baby or an abortion a man should have the right to pay or not pay child support.


I must admit I do see some logic in this thinking. I stress SOME. Of course I see all sorts of other dynamics that won’t get any less fuzzy when sent to court.


Whose responsibility is it? Easy enough to say that two people have consensual sex and so two people should decide. But when two people don’t agree…what then? I could argue it is my body and therefore my choice. He could argue that it is my choice and therefore not his problem. It could go on and on a tit for tat until the end of time. And in its wake will still be the traumatic event of abortion or a little child ready for the world even if the world isn’t ready for it.


The list of questions that comes to mind are all the really easy ones…the basic ones that aren’t even hidden behind some bizarre circumstance that fiction couldn’t create on its own. Little things like broken condoms or the unlikely but still possible .21 percent chance that the pill is unsuccessful.


What then? Precautions were taken to prevent pregnancy but it happened. Does that mean the only recourse is that a woman must abort or raise the child alone?


And does this mean that if a man wants the abortion he has to pay for it or does him not paying for it show he wanted it? This could go on forever. And it isn’t the only issue.


I read an article a few weeks ago that talked about registries for adoption. How a man has to register (I wasn’t really clear on this, I guess that he’s had sex) in order to be able to prevent his child from being adopted by someone else. But does that mean every time he has sex…or just every new woman…does that mean women can be prosecuted for not letting the father know she is pregnant…are there protections mechanisms in case he is a danger and that is why she remained silent?


Litigation in the ways of sex is difficult to enforce. I embrace the idea of my body and my choices. I also embrace the idea of personal and mutual responsibilities. The world is a kinetic wonderland where things, uncanny and unplanned for things, happen every day. The supreme court can’t decide everything for everyone…nor should we let it try.


Instead, communication seems the best option…before tragedy/blessing strikes.


How do you feel about abortion? How does your partner? If we can’t answer these is time for us to start finding out.


1 Comment on pre-child contemplation

  1. AJ says:

    Deep as usual Miss Ashely, but this one is a lil more than PAR for the course if you know what i mean? there are WAY too many variable in this discussion to even start a decent and focused conversation nor a debate. sheesh all the possibilities are making my head swim, and you know i got a HUGE head!!! LOL. but good points all around Miss Ashley!!! KUDOS.

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