not to cry that is. i’m trying but not succeeding in not crying. and please don’t mistake this for an unwillingness to appreciate how lucky i am that i am alive and well and that i’m with family who loves me. i do. i understand that in such a wonderfully full way.

but aside from that – as i watch the news and it gets graver and graver – i am lonely in this uncertain feeling of loss and devestation.

i thought i was ready to write about this but i guess i’m not…


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