my wandering ways are not new. as a military brat we moved a fair bit. i said hello and goodbye enough to get used to the taste – even to like it. as much as saying goodbye sucks, saying hello is scary and interesting and full of potential. mistakes made get to be learned from without constant reminder of how you learned them. i love that.

maybe i never realized the toll not staying put has on relationships. in a military setting everyone is doing it. it is the norm. even among my peace corps friends it isn’t exactly unusual. we are starting to see the signs of folks getting hitched and rooting themselves to a location, but there are enough of us that have refused to plant ourselves. and those that have planted aren’t so removed from the other lifestyle that it seems particularly weird…or maybe they are just reaching that point.

it comes up because this weekend i was reacquainted with some of my best friends from undergrad. we hadn’t all been in the same place in about 4 years. let me correct that, i hadn’t been with them all in 4 years. they had all lived in the same city on and off, visited often, had traditions and such that i have no knowledge of.

needless to say it was a strange experience. we wandered from old familiar territory of an us that existed a long time ago into uncharted territory – where we are now and how those places do or don’t connect. strangely, i never considered the reality that my jumping about was part of the problem. in my world it was just time – not distance. but i guess there really isn’t much of a distance in the two.

i had a little melt-down trying to explain about “where” i am right now, between “2-year plans”, temporarily in new orleans, separated from my love. and they talked about theirs,new homes and marriages and careers. and they don’t really overlap.

but what i wonder is does it matter?

i’m not friends with these people because we are the same…even in college we weren’t (though we had more in common). but does it…does it really matter? do you only stay friends with folks who mirror your own life, careers, coupled/or not status, geographic location? i really hope not because otherwise i’ll be saying goodbye to a hell of a lot of people really soon.

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