“… I think that college friends are more like family than friends; They were there when you were becoming yourself. It is like you were in a store, shopping for yourself. And they stood there, helping you try on things that fit, were too tight, too loose; They watched as you found the perfect fit for you. And you don’t forget those people. You can’t.
Now life is much more dynamic and not as easily shared. There are tons of things competing for a piece of you, but when all is quiet and you need help remembering you- the perfect-fit-you, then your heart reopens to those friends who stood there with you … And the lifetime ones, cause some aren’t lifetime, are always going to be there when you open the next dressing room door, helping you choose the perfect fit.”
Niambi Brown
I searched out Niambi because she was there…she stood by me as I was “trying myself on” and she helped me get it right…so I searched her out the other day when trying to figure out why some people are able to touch me so intimately so many years after our lives forked and took different paths.
And as I read it I had to smile because it so fits. And it doesn’t matter how much I’ve grown or changed over the years…my most important pieces remain constant and those folks who knew me then can recognize me through any superficial changes of time or experience because the heart of who I am is the same.
And some people abuse that space. Walk recklessly through touching everything simply because they can or maybe because they don‘t know any better. Others understand the sanctity of inhabiting that space…the gift of knowing someone’s heart and that you have a home there.
And I am thankful for the latter…for those who can help me make sense of the world, those who can apologize for hurts so long ago. I can even appreciate those who thoughtlessly touch everything because they remind me to be ever vigilant of those I invite into my interiors.
Tags: friends, me-ness, observations, quotes
This post makes me think about my own “dressing room” from school. I struggle to find if there is or was one person in the room the whole time. I think I tried on a bunch of clothes and realized that I needed to explore many options before I decided what was me. As I think about how I have come to be from then: a kid with big dreams from a small town trying to find his way. His way has led him to Johannesburg…to possibly live. As a result of this way, I have shed many of the things that I thought once defined me and decided to focus on a core…Anyway LA, look what your blog post made me do…