out to dinner tonight in the middle of downtown oakland i didn’t expect to see a familiar face beyond the one i was having dinner with. imagine my surprise when we walked toward the door after our meal and i glanced at a woman who looked too familiar to not take a second look. so i did…and i stared a moment…and she stared back. only she didn’t stare in a “what the heck are you looking at?” kind of way, instead she was staring at me in the mirror image of mine.
in a moment it registered and we hugged like old friends do.
only we aren’t old friends…at least not in the conventional sense. the thing is, i’ve only met her once, it is simply the circumstances of our meeting.
about 6 years ago, while visiting china, i ran into this woman (and about 5 other black women who spoke varying degrees of chinese) and hung with her for the day. we all met up at this market and created quite the spectacle, first for just being 7 black women in the middle of non-tourist beijing, and second because like i said, they all spoke varying degrees of chinese (enough to haggle prices at the market).
we took this photo to remember the day by, all of us lined up looking at the camera. i remember someone’s mother was there and she took the picture with each of our cameras.
i haven’t spoken to any of those women since. but there she was, sitting at a table with her husband and two other friends. so we chatted for a few. gushed over the strangeness of seeing each other – all the more so because i just got here and she is soon to depart (headed to LA).
even so…i’m excited to keep in touch (i plan to this time). good people are good people..
Tags: bay, crazystuff, friends, travel
May God break my heart so completely the whole world falls in. – Mother Theresa
Tags: quotes
“everybody is talking to themselves,” i muttered. and at that moment i realized i was now among that everybody. something about the city i guess, something about looking at all the contradictions and dichotomies. the opulence of city hall and all the homeless that gather just beyond its shadow.
i find myself experiencing the bay area like it is a foreign country i’ve never visited. odd because it isn’t foreign and i have been here before – be it a long time ago.
the smell of incense perched itself on the morning breeze as i walked past the Buddhist temple on my way to work. that is the way i like to begin my work day…a brisk 12 block walk and the smell of something beautiful filling my head with positive thoughts.
ok…so i have to soften my stance on the tenderloin and food. there are a few places to buy groceries. they are small corner store type places with limited veggie selection (i don’t have a california reference for prices yet).
that said, now i’m torn…mom and pop stores allow entrepreneurship within the community. at the same time it doesn’t allow for the cheapest prices or best quality…such quandaries never have simple answers.
ok ok…i got the message loud and clear when my dad left a message on my phone lamenting that he should leave his phone number. i get it…i haven’t been quite the chatty cathy i have been in recent months. but i promise you there are good reasons.
lets start at the most basic…my stellar packing did not take into account being without both my car and most of my stuff for more than a few days. as such, i cannot seem to locate my phone charger which is someplace in my car which is stowed at a friend of a friend’s garage. so for the last two days i’ve been phone-less. (try looking for housing when you don’t have a number for folks to reach you!)
that leads to reason two…i’m still homeless. don’t get me wrong. i’m not on the streets or anything, i’ve been graced with friends of the family and one of my dearest friends from peace corps (i’m on her floor as we speak) so i’m not truly homeless but i don’t’ have access to all my stuff (reference above for this lament).
all that said…i LOVE it here. i love the way i feel when walking to the bart station. i love the way the air is cool and crisp in the morning and as the sun sets. i love that all around me is asian food. i love that i get compliments like i never got back home.
oh yeah…and i LOVE my job so far. i hesitate to say “so far” but i’ll put it in there since this is only day two. but lets just consider a few things…i get to wear jeans, i can ride the bart to work, the office gets an organic fruit box delivered once a week for us to munch on (pomegranates, strawberries, raspberries, apples, oranges, and plums), and the people are interesting and varied and NICE. who knew.
all said…despite the awkward phone thing and the homeless thing…i’m in amazing spirits just soaking up the atmosphere.
the weather has been beautiful and i know it is due to change in the next few weeks…a tilt to cold and wet but even so…i’m excited to see what else the bay area has to lob in my general direction.
Tags: bay, transition
i’m actually in the bay area! in some ways it already feels like home despite my not having one yet.
if you’d like to know what love looks like go stare into my dad’s face. he drove the entire 1700+ miles in two days. and once we got here he spent an additional day and a half wandering around the city with me – looking for my home and helping me get my bearings.
so where am i now? sitting in a patch of sun at friends of the family (feels just like family). they – like my peace corps buddy – have given me squatting rights. today i will go again into the world and check out housing. wish me luck…work starts on monday and i’d love to actually have a place to call my own by then!
random aside…i love this area…it is pretty much how i remember it…quirky and friendly. yesterday after being stood up by a landlord i was walking around the lake merritt area looking at apartments hoping for a “for rent” sign. it is beautiful weather right now before the rainy season kicks in. and this young man approached me respectfully and started talking to me. interesting and funny he walked around with me for a few hours and gave me some insight on housing here – stuff to do – and just general friendly conversation. and that is why i love the bay area…random acts of friendly make me smile!
Tags: transition
this morning my almost-four-year-old niece came barging into my bedroom announcing breakfast. exhausted from the previous night i mumbled something and returned to sleep until she reappeared, like cold BBQ at the back of your throat, to announce once again the arrival of breakfast.
and there it was, a lovely breakfast hot and waiting for me when i finally stumbled down the stairs.
and right there are two things i won’t have in three days…my sister’s home-cooking with a place set at the table for me, and my three nieces crowded around me demanding attention and scolding and love.
as i packed up some of my stuff tonight, my sister busily twisting her hair on the floor beside me, her youngest intermittently screaming her head off and eating, i lamented to myself that these late night conversations about all sorts of randomness will be put on hold indefinitely.
this trip feels strange though. my sister pointed out that unlike my other moves which were either across oceans or within a relatively short drive – this trip is both close and far away. i won’t use a passport to get there and still i won’t be available to drive in for extended weekends.
my world is changing again…i’m curious to see what it will look like this time.
Tags: family, transition
something about my family brings out my 12-year-old self. that isn’t fair. i believe in taking responsibility and me acting like a child is not my family’s fault…it is a decision (conscious or otherwise) i make when we interact.
it is most pronounced with my sister. i noticed it a few years back and have been working on it – regardless of how successful that has been or whether anyone has noticed…that isn’t the point. the point is that i am trying to figure out what it is that makes me so insecure with the people who love me most. i find myself taking things personally in way that i don’t with folks outside that circle. i find myself defensive at the slightest provocation – intended or not.
i’m working on it…it is a humbling…but growth usually is.
Tags: family, transition
it is so easy for me to get caught up in where i’m GOING to be instead of focusing on where i am NOW. this is the dilemma i find myself facing now. with employment settled and not much else i find the days dragging by so slowly. all of a sudden what used to seem to be the endless speeding by of weeks seems to be going backward. “how can it only be wednesday when i swear yesterday was thursday!?”
and even as i lament all the stuff i’m “gonna” do real soon i am trying to slow down and appreciate the moments here…giving my nieces baths, tussling with them in the den, carrying CCF on my back, trying to teach AFF new things, counting the number of times MVF spits up on me.
equally, my time with my sister and her hubby…they have been amazing hosts. they opened not just their doors but their lives to me, inviting me into the daily treasures of domestic life in a very comfortable way. i’ll miss our strange conversations at 11pm or discussions after reading the paper or watching something on television. i’ll miss spontaneous meals with these people who enjoy good food and good company.
and i will miss just having my family in close proximity…close enough to appreciate them as more than family and into the realm of friendship. tonight i sat up with my dad until about 1:30 talking about the world, marriage and love, tax cuts…i talked to my dad less as daughter and more friend (a luxury my “growness” has allowed me in recent years). such conversations are spontaneous and hard to schedule over phone lines. i spend so much time “away” i know how precious all this is…
even so i find myself on craigslist filing away addresses of my potential home, scrounging for possible furniture within my budget, dreaming of the things i’ll do and friends i’ll make. no matter how hard i try to be here i find myself most often “there”. i’ll keep working on it though, “there” will be here before i even realize.
Tags: family, transition
a different kind of hunger
hif you know me even a little bit then you know i’m greedy. greedy sounds bad and like taste has little to with anything, let’s call me a “luv grub” as S used to. i love the parts of my day that involve food. a healthy part of my excitement about being in the bay area is food related.
as such, it never really crossed my mind, beyond an academic exercise, how access to food can be limited. thinking back, we discussed it at the university of auckland. we tried to get the city to implement grocery stores in their planning around government housing. as it was, the marginalized populations were also left to fish and chip shops and corner stores. come to think of it, i lived in a neighborhood like that. without a car at my disposal and facing the intense hills of new zealand i had to walk quite a distance or catch a bus to get reasonably priced groceries.
and so it is here. staying in the tenderloin and i have yet to find an actual grocery store – one that carries fruits and vegetables. i haven’t been really far, but even when i discuss it with locals they ask me where i’m staying and shake their heads…there is no fresh produce here except twice a week when the farmer’s market emerges by the bart (today was one of those days but it was packing up by the time i got home).
as a result i’ve eaten out every meal every day for about a week. a luxury i can barely afford but can afford none the less. it leaves me thinking about those that can’t…what do they eat?how nutritious are their meals? beyond the homeless scrounging for scraps in garbage cans or sips of coffee in abandoned paper cups, even those who have homes are subject to the prepared food lining the streets.
spoiled by the lake merritt area – where i continue to search for housing – complete with a sizable grocery store in addition to its weekly farmers’ market, i find this insane. the bay being so walking friendly – so car hostile – i assumed groceries would be near.
wrong…
one of the apartments i’m looking at (despite their refusal to call me back) is in a – shall we say – less glamorous part of town. just for kicks i googled neighboring supermarkets. after sifting through the corner stores that popped up i discovered the closest one requires a ride on the bart. convenience and nutrition apparently don’t go together unless your rent exceeds $1000 a month.
Tags: health, soapbox, socialcommentary