oct. 27

as with all things, there is a balancing factor. trading one benifit on behalf of another. in this case -going to bed early so that i am not tired en la mañana prevents me from sleeping through the night. instead,  at 2am i dance an elaborate dance unbolting the back door and walking through overgrowth to find the light switch high on the bathroom door. only to dance that dance in reverse once i finish. and this night, a nightmare fading in my memory, keeps me awake long after my jorney to el baño.

today, oct. 29, 2005

traveling alone is a little like talking to yourself in public. everyone notices but pretends not to see. you aren´t particularly dangerous, or even interesting -except there is a slight sense of pity. like requesting a table at dinner… solamente una.

only me.

and so i´m lead to a table to eat and watch people, traveling in packs of two or more, enjoying the drawn out meals that i adore wherever i am.

i must admit i´m a little lonely. i´m here for a purpose but in the off time, when i can´t find someone to chat me up for reasons other than trying to hit on me, i find myself wishing for company and good conversation.

my spanish conversation from the other day apparently had a lot to do with more than spanish. cute guy lone girl…i can´t be mad. but it is hard to make friends when the subteties of the language are lost on me still.

i´d like to think i´m getting better but i have no way of knowing. yesterday was a much better day than today. and part of me is dreading tomorrow. i didn´t memorize the irregular verbs i set out to memorize. i guess i should have stayed in the village. less…or at least different…kinds of distractions there.

at any rate, i may be home a few weeks early…the end of november instead of the begining of december. a minor difference to most, but i can´t afford to do what i planned to do (namely the bay islands of honduras) and i´d prefer company for anything else…so maybe i´ll be home for thanksgiving…i´ll keep you posted.

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