death seems to be in the air. seemingly contagious. fawcett, jackson, mcman. today mcnair.

people react in a myriad of ways. a return to 1985 with folks crying and falling out over micheal. bereaved as if he were family. as if they knew him more intimately than simply his voice in song. there are tributes and recollections by friends about lives lived.

i find myself thinking about what they didn’t do. i wonder how each one left this world…not literally, but in terms of their aspirations. the dreams that still made them smile to themselves when the thought crossed their minds.

i imagine ed and farah left fulfilled. maybe an unfair assumption but she was sick and he was old- both conditions provide you with the short view on life. the absence of expectation that tomorrow is promised. tim mcgraw wrote a song about it – the idea that living like you were dying.

only we all are.

i have a few facebook friends who inspire me to live like i’m dying. people who decided to go against rote living. the idea that life is just a series of habits repeated because its all you know or is the farthest thing from what you fear.

and i live like that in spurts. bundles of time where i stretch and reach and experience myself, my life, as if the moment i’m in is the only moment there is.

i want to more moments. i’m working on it.

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